You have a few spelling mistakes, I think you should organize your writing a little bit more. I don't know why, but your writing looks like an eye exam because it goes smaller as I read. I'll give you a 7or 8/12
You need to be careful with your grammar. I don't want to say it's awful, but there are grammar mistakes all over the places. This is just your memory, make sure that you're writing in past tense. Comas were not put in the right places. I like the way that you write your story in a chronological order. It helps people easier to understand. You have a very interesting memory, but to me, it didn't catch my attention in the beginning until the middle part of your story. Next time, you'd like to write more unique and fancy sentences at the beginning so it catches the audiences when they first look at it. Your story was good, but you need to improve on your grammar and vocabulary words. Ill give u 9/12, well done.
You have a few spelling mistakes, I think you should organize your writing a little bit more. I don't know why, but your writing looks like an eye exam because it goes smaller as I read. I'll give you a 7or 8/12
ReplyDeletei think it good 9 or 10/12
ReplyDeleteYou need to be careful with your grammar. I don't want to say it's awful, but there are grammar mistakes all over the places. This is just your memory, make sure that you're writing in past tense. Comas were not put in the right places. I like the way that you write your story in a chronological order. It helps people easier to understand. You have a very interesting memory, but to me, it didn't catch my attention in the beginning until the middle part of your story. Next time, you'd like to write more unique and fancy sentences at the beginning so it catches the audiences when they first look at it. Your story was good, but you need to improve on your grammar and vocabulary words. Ill give u 9/12, well done.
ReplyDelete